sonelle (sonelle) wrote,
sonelle
sonelle

I feel like this terrible horrible woman.

I love animals. I adore and love my cats. I love them so much people probably get sick of all the pictures I take of them.

But I cannot in my right mind, go into debt for my animals.

The kitten - not so much a kitten anymore - has gotten sick. With an as yet unidentified infection/illness. We knew it would not be cheap, but we do have our financial limit as to how much we will spend to make her better.

Right now, after a day at the vet, drugs, exams, the handfuls of tests they did, we're out 300. And they are not really closer to figuring out what's wrong with her.

The gross part of this post. She's pooping mucus. Straight mucus, nothing but mucus. her bowels are irritated by something, and she's running a fever. They sent us home with antibiotics, and instructions to watch her, bring her in if she gets worse. Things were looking okay. It'll be a tight week next week but w/hubby out of town and using company card, we'll be cool.

But we can't afford for her to get worse. As it stands now, the vet just called and told us to come in tomorrow, and get two other drugs, and to get their special dietary food for her. Total cost looking to be another 100.

I can't do it. I love her dearly, I have bawled so badly over her being in the discomfort that she is and sick, and crying because I am literally driving us down to our last 200 till next friday, to even get to the point that we are at right now, and they are telling us we need to spend another 100.

And I can't. because it's either this 100 dollars worth of medicine, or we're eating nothing but ramen next week.

And I feel like shit because I should, I should go do it, I wouldn't hesitate to do it for my son. And yet I'm crying because I can't afford to do it. They wont' do a payment plan, I have no idea why, even our dentist does one. They told us they can set us up to apply for a credit line with some company but, it's like, for real? For a hundred god damned dollars I'm going to go into debt?

I always said I had this financial hardline with our pets, and that was it. And I've hit that financial hardline and I don't know what to do. I love her dearly but...

I just can't do it. And they make me feel like shit on the phone for even saying "I need to think about it" Like, come on. I just spent 300 dollars I really couldn't afford to, I //told// you I only had 200 to spend, and now you're telling me it'll be another 100.

What am I supposed to do?

What would they have done if we literally could not have even paid 100?

Life is so fucking cruel at times.
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